God has used Corban in our lives in many ways.
Isn’t that kind of Him?
To use the very being that we are trying to mold and shape
in order to mold and shape us?
Here are two recent ways that God has revealed Himself to me through my son.
“I see one more raisin. *gasp* Gift from God!”
I’ve been disciplining myself in the area of joy for the past year and a half by counting gifts. I know you know ’cause I talk about it often! When Corban gets upset (you know, about the important things in life, such as toy cars and yellow chairs and striped undies), I try to help him find how God has been gracious in the situation.
Most mornings I make us oatmeal. Raisins end up in his bowl; brown sugar in mine (shh…he hasn’t discovered the joys of brown sugar yet!). Inevitably, he finishes the raisins with plenty of oatmeal to spare, and so he begs and pleads for more raisins, while I insist that there are no more and would you just finish your oatmeal, please. But every morning, he digs a little deeper in his bowl and eventually uncovers a single lonely raisin in the last unturned clump of oats. “I SEE ONE MORE RAISIN!” he exclaims. To which I reply, “What a gift that is; you can be thankful for that! Thank you, God, for my raisin!”
Yesterday morning was no different. He frantically searched for another raisin, and he did find one. And this time, he made the connection between his yummy raisin and the kindness of God. “I see one more raisin! *gasp* Gift from God!”
To lead him on this path of gratitude.
To walk it together at 2 and 27.
My cup overflows.
“Mommy, put da phone down.”
We are in the basement–I feeding Jaeda, Corban dominating balls. I whip my phone out (ashamedly, out of habit) and get to business checking my email, seeing what people are up to, looking at pictures, replying to texts.
“Mommy, watch me.”
I glance up to observe the thousandth kick, give a smile and a “nice one!” and get back to my virtual world.
Finish typing one last thiiiing, there. Look up. A moment too late, but I can tell he kicked the ball (again) and sound a little cheer before mentally withdrawing again.
A hand grabs hold of my knee. “MOMMY. Put da phone down.”
Heart stops. Embarrassed, wondering who else sees, how one so young can sense my lack of presence even when I appear physically.
Honestly, I’m ashamed to write this and almost didn’t, but after confessing this to James last night, I know it is right to share here not just my successes but also my failures. One of the verses on my “to memorize” sheet is this:
Proverbs 25:28 “A man without self-control (say, over his phone usage) is like a city broken into and left without walls.”
I need self-control in this area of my phone…and I don’t even have a smartphone, yikes! It’s a good place for me to start. A necessary place.